Thiago led a really good exercise. Everyone seemed kind of flustered that he hadn't thoroughly explained the directions, but it seems to me that there's a lot of limited explanation in TO games and exercises. I actually enjoy not having a very clear explanation--to an extent--because it offers an opportunity to get to understand how other people interpreted the same ideas in so many different ways. I think that's part of the spirit of that particular exercise as well. And even when something doesn't go according to plan, it doesn't mean we can't learn anything from it. It just means that we have to take a step back and reframe our understanding. I think that "reframing" is a very valuable skill in both education and in life. I believe that it takes Westerners and particularly Americans quite a bit of time and patience to learn to not handle "reframing" aggressively.
We have a tendency to become frustrated, to struggle against the natural flow of things in favor of the path that we initially decided on and decided to control. When things are surprises (like multiple interpretations of an activity), we treat them as unwelcome guests in our lives instead of taking a few moments to fluff the pillows on the guest bed and rinse the china we use for good company. We hinder ourselves in this frustration--we spend so much time and energy trying to force and manipulate our way back into what is expected. Why not use that effort to reframe, recontextualize, and recognize that the moment we are in will never exist again? Long story short, I was proud of Chee for the confidence it took to lead a physical exercise without over explaining.
Cat blew my mind. I've never trusted anyone to hold my full weight. I mean, not since I was very young. I got a little misty-eyed, I'll admit. I was really glad that I got to work with you during that exercise. I'm confident in my abilities to hold others, but very skeptical of others holding me. Years upon years of body shaming and shopping with a mother who was shamed for her own body--it's difficult to imagine people holding me up. Sometimes it's difficult to imagine furniture holding me up. I'm always VERY hesitant to sit on unfamiliar furniture. Strange how much our own insecurities can impact our worldview. Either way, if there was anyone I felt comfortable with, it was you and Cat, so that worked out very nicely.
The machines were very interesting experiences. The war machine got everyone a bit riled, but perhaps that was more discussing the IDEA of war than the actual exercise. It was difficult for me to find a place to fit into the war machine. When we built the peace machine, however, I had a very clear idea of where I could go and how I could contribute to an atmosphere of betterment. I feel fortunate for that. During the discussion afterward, though, I hope I didn't sound like an aggressor. I realize that I didn't complete my thought about the passivity of our culture. What I meant was that we are often content to watch a brief news package about an issue and then change the channel. I felt that Jennie and Ben sort of took that out of context and responded as though I had tried to say that monetary gifts and messages of love were unwelcome in favor of actual hands-on work, which is not what I meant at all. I hope I didn't hurt them. I know my tongue can be sharp sometimes, especially about Katrina, especially on the eight-year anniversary of it.
French Telephone was a VERY welcome change afterward. It was nice to laugh recklessly and sort of cough up all of the pain we'd just ingested from one another. Very healthy. Thank you for that. It was wonderful and exactly what was needed.
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