Readings for August 22

BABBAGE, CH 1:

I really enjoyed Babbage's discussion of the shifting political loyalties and how one wanted to ensure that they were "always on the side of the strong." It immediately called to mind an article I read some time ago about the death of Kim Jong Il. The article revealed that many of the mourners might be actively trying to out-mourn one another--to keen louder, to appear even more devastated than someone nearby, to suffer with more intensity. This was done, perhaps, to prove loyalty to Kim Jong Il and to the state because there was the fear that if one did not mourn sufficiently, that person would be dealt with brutally and without sympathy. Additionally, I remembered the Bob Dylan song "With God on Our Side."

I admire that Boal went to prison for his art. It made me wonder if I would do the same. As it stands, I have a difficult time not flinching when I discuss my work in a room that I feel may not be receptive to it. I find myself speaking fearfully, waiting for someone to--I don't know--stand up and yell out, "Bullshit!" And Boal went to prison for his dedication. He set a hell of a bar, but this reading did make me realize that I need to fight for my sector of art. I need to legitimize it by not fearing criticism or the ego of others.

I enjoyed the section that spoke about the troupe traveling to the countryside--the farmer who asked them to take up arms and march with him straightaway after their performance--their shame. It's a very key thing to realize that one can't solve a problem from the outside. My privilege and my education doesn't necessarily lend any help to a situation unless I am willing to roll up my sleeves and relinquish my privilege--to live the same lives and add my strength to a resistance. There's no such thing as gifting a people with the boon of a solution--that's just Imperialism, really. A proper solution must be arrived at communally and through careful consideration. Just because I am an educated white woman of reasonable means does not mean that I am a superhero.

I was very intrigued also by the idea of "cops in the head." What particularly struck me was David George's criticism of this idea. He claimed that European struggles--the "cops in the head"--were not as severe as Latin struggles or typically non-white struggles. This brought to mind Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. No matter where a person lies on the seven-layered ladder to self actualization, they are never satisfied until they reach that nirvana state of total self-recognition and unity. While the people Boal was exiled from may have been stuck on that bottom rung working towards fulfilling "Safety Needs," many of the Europeans with cops in the head were probably on the "Cognitive Needs" or "Aesthetic Needs" rung, but still reaching for Self-Actualization--still not fulfilled.

The cops in the head idea also reminds me of an idea of my own that I float around when I conduct healing sessions. I call it the oxygen mask idea. On airplanes, they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then on any children or disabled persons with you. When I was a child, this was very disturbing to me. I was the youngest--I was a little girl. Wasn't I supposed to be more valuable? Didn't adults in movies sacrifice themselves so curly-headed chubby white girls like me could be saved? It took me a long time to accept the idea that the adults needed their masks first so that they could be in stable enough form to take proper care of the children. In just this way, it is impossible to take care of people if you yourself are not at your best for them. This is why "me time" becomes so important, so integral to a loving relationship.

GAMES FOR ACTORS AND NON-ACTORS, CH 1 & 2:

This book feels more like a conversation, which I like. However, I also have fewer notes about it because everything seems so fluid and easily acceptable and assimilated.

The examples from Godrano are interesting to me--particularly the feminist piece. The idea that the whole audience disengaged when a man tried to take on the role of the protagonist young woman is very interesting to me. It seems divisive somehow. Is it meant to demonstrate that division? Is this just a reality we have to live with--that in gendered discussions, gender-swapping the role of the protagonist is a futile effort in Theatre of the Oppressed? Surely not. Surely this was a fluke incident. I suppose, though, that this could be a reflection of what was discussed in Babbage's text--the idea that one cannot come from a place of privilege and "come down the mountain," as my grandmother would say, with all of the answers. It comes off as insulting and diminishing.

I enjoyed reading the story of the young virgin woman in Streetcar. A virgin myself, I can relate to that experience 100%. It's terrifying when someone asks you to be passionate in a serious way. Paralyzing. All energy flow stops because you're scared you'll do it wrong. To have a fellow actor offer such a helpful suggestion creates an environment of support and trust and mutual assistance. I had never thought of substituting another highly sensual experience for sex in my mind and energy, but I imagine a pint of Ben and Jerry's after a long massage and a hot shower would probably just about simulate sexual passion. I've always said that if I can find a man who makes me feel as good as a plate of beignets from Cafe du Monde, I'd be more than happy to pursue a physical relationship. Until then, I really don't think I'm missing out on much.

Finally, I enjoyed this quote because it seems like a very fundamental building block and also states Boal's intention to change the world through his art:

"And that is the role of art--not only to show how the world is, but also why it is thus and how it can be transformed."